Saturday, January 1, 2011
Our Lost Little Lamb
For many reasons that are unknown we chose to make choices that do not reflect who we are or who we want to be come. But rather we lose ourselves in the choices of others merely to fit in and be accepted. We think that we can be strong. We think of ourselves as that one person the can save those who have lost there way. We try with all our might to be strong, to remain strong in time of great conflicts and to be the one that never strays. Then out of nowhere we find ourselves slowly leaving all the decisions that we made not to stray slipping out of our hands. The power to fit in becomes greater than the COURAGE TO STAND STRONG.
The power of EVIL influences are so great that we are blinded by its obvious substandard to our true beliefs. There is no longer BLACK and WHITE to our choices. Everything now has shades of GRAY. There becomes no distinction between RIGHT and WRONG. There are no consequences to our actions. We are allowed to do what ever we want because the WORLD does not pose any TRUE consequences. Why would anyone want to chose all RIGHT choices if the world does not rejoice in this simple way of living?
We were sent here to this earth with our FREE AGENCY, but with that also came others with their own FREE AGENCY. How can we SAVE our children from a HURTFUL world that so strongly opposes truly being GOOD? How can I as a mother possibly save "my sheep" when the society in which we live is at war with all that I stand for? Where am I to turn when I have become the Shepard that lost one of HIS sheep?
Yes, I Janeal Proffitt lost one of "my sheep" and have not yet been able to come to terms with how I went wrong. Where did I FAIL with my parenting and how will this effect my other children?
I realized that I could no longer fight with my daughter. I had to make a very painful and prayful decision to let her leave my nest. Not forever but just for a period time so that she can find her strength and learn to FLY on her own. This is what is needed RIGHT NOW, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT! She needs to feel the love I have for her without the TOXINS that plague our home. She needs to FIND HER WAY without having the influences that have strayed her from her TRUE path in life.
I am her mother but I am not that person to SAVE "my little lamb". She hates me for not letting her LIVE her LIFE the way she wants. How can a 14 year old child know what life they want to live?
The influences that were her FRIENDS had no direction,no purpose, no future and did not believe in GOD. They believed in what was RIGHT for that moment. It did not have to be RIGHT but if it made you HAPPY then it was RIGHT. I do not blame all of her choices on her friends because she has to be the one to make the final decision IN THE END.
We as women need to ban together to conquer the EVIL influences that surround our children on a daily bases. I have failed my child. I never saw the signs that she was straying. I tried to be the parent she deserved and wanted. I want to be the SHEPHERD that carries her back on my shoulders and celebrates with friends that she has returned home. This is my true desire. But it also has to be hers. That is the painful truth. We cannot carry someone back if they do not want to accept our invitation.
I pray that she will return a stronger person with a true conviction of who she is. That she will remember that she is A DAUGHTER OF GOD and to walk tall. Every decision has an impact on your life whether it be GOOD or BAD. Why make your life any harder than it already is? Make choices that REFINE YOU and not choices that DEFINE YOU.
I pray that she may find her way back home. I hope that this decision was not made in vain and she can feel the love that we all have for her.
4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
This is my prayer to anyone who has lost their way, or has had a child lose their way. That I know without a shadow of a doubt that my child may be lost but she will be found. Never give up. Never lose sight of who they truly are in their hearts. The Lord has never given up on me because he knows my true potential. It is I that has given up on myself. It is the self doubt that sets in and I lose my focus. I will never leave my daughters side. No matter where her life may lead her. She was given to me to teach her everything I know. I want to help her through this life and into the eternities. Without hope there is no future and without a future there is no hope.
My heart breaks for sending her away. But I rather let her go now for a second chance then lose her later. Time will mend what is broken. She is my Daughter no matter what. I will never give up. I will fight for your return.
I love you Mimi!!